Home > Games, Puzzles & Jokes > Mostly Christian Jokes

Mostly Christian Jokes

1. Political leaders

“Don’t worry about your son, he is set to become a great politician,” the teacher said. The parents were delighted and asked how she could tell. “Well, he can say more things that sound well and mean nothing at all than anyone else in the class.”

2. Up and down

A psychiatrist was training some young clergy who were interested in doing counselling. They had been discussing various forms of depression. Deciding to test them, she asked: “How would you diagnose someone who visits your church, walks back and forth, screaming at the top of his lungs one minute, and then collapsing in a pew to weep uncontrollably the next?” A young man at the back of the room raised his hand and ventured: “a football coach?”

3. Softly, softly

A churchwarden went to the Police Station wishing to see the burglar who had slipped in and out of the church during evensong. "You'll get your chance in court," said the Desk Sergeant.

"I don’t want revenge," said the man. "I want to know how he got out of the service early without the vicar noticing. I've been trying to do that for years!"

4. The puppy

A clergyman was walking down the street when he came upon a group of about a dozen boys, surrounding a small puppy. Concerned lest the boys were hurting it, he went to investigate. One boy explained, "We just found this puppy, and we all want him. So we've decided that whichever one of us can tell the biggest lie will get to take him home."

The minister was taken aback. "Don't you boys know it's a sin to lie? Why, when I was your age, I never told a lie.” There was dead silence for a moment. The minister thought he had got through to them. 

Then the smallest boy gave a deep sigh and said, "All right, give him the dog."